A small disclaimer to this week’s post… pregnancy hit me hard this week. Not just a little… more like a freight train crashing into a brick wall. This post will not be about rainbows and sunshine. It will not be about how awesome it is to be 35 weeks pregnant. This is a completely natural feeling during pregnancy.
I feel super guilty and sad because I know this is one of the greatest moments in my life. Right now, I’m carrying my first little child. During this whole pregnancy, I’ve tried to stay super positive and light. I know it’s a blessing to be able to even become pregnant. Some women struggle for a long time and may not even be able to ever feel what I’m going through. I should be grateful. I am grateful. I always said I wouldn’t take it for granted and I would celebrate the fact that I signed up for this and should enjoy the good times and the bad.
With that being said, no one fully prepares you for the emotional roller coaster your body goes through during pregnancy. People will say RELAX a million times but if you aren’t used to actually “relaxing”, you will instantly feel like you are failing and harming not only yourself but the little one you are growing inside of yourself. The last week has been a definite struggle. What I want is to be able to do my job, complete all the baby related projects and feel 100% prepared for whenever this little one decides to make her debut into the world. What I realized is that I’m exhausted, stressed, concerned and overwhelmed with all these changes and it’s causing me massive amounts of anxiety.
Breathe, right? Easier said than done. I feel like I was managing things well. It wasn’t until my sometimes crying turned into all the time crying and I realized something was wrong.
Baby is still breech. This position is incredibly uncomfortable and heavy. I feel like a bowling ball is positioned on top of my belly. Also, in the last couple days, she’s been moving like crazy. *Important thing for all pregnancy ladies to realize: if the baby is moving, it’s good!* I didn’t realize movement was a good thing since it was so different than her normal, lazy movements. Instead, I began to panic. My stomach felt super hard and I was having difficulties simply walking around so I went to the doctor to get checked out. Everything was fine. No contractions. Completely closed up cervix. Baby is not coming out right now.
You can read book after book after book and nothing will quite prepare you for the feelings you will feel in your body. My one tiny piece of advice as of right now: Find your happy place. I’m trying to find mine right now. It can be snuggling at home with your dog. Maybe work is your happy place? Or perhaps your happy place is cleaning the house. Whatever it is, find somewhere to go when things get dark because they will and you need a little piece of heaven to escape to when things eventually get difficult.
Things that make me happy:
Now for my weekly update:
How far along: 35 weeks
Baby is the size of a: Coconut
Symptoms: Super emotional, somewhat depressed, typical swollen feet and ankles, swollen hands, exhaustion, braxton hicks
Total weight gain: 28 lbs
Maternity clothes: Just the usual
Stretch marks: No
Best moment of this week: Knowing the baby is in good health and moving around
Miss anything: My sanity
Movement: Tons… hoping this means she’s trying to make a move and flip.
Food cravings: Pizza
Labor signs: No.
Belly button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: Off
Happy or moody most of the time: Sad. Moody. Stressed.
Looking forward to: Putting up the closet doors in the nursery
Baby Bump Shot: